Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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