I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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