he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
