Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
