I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
