she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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