Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
