That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I have fence marks all over my body
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
