sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
