Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
