Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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