The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
