your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
