Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
