do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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