I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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