I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
bring money and cleavage
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
