My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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