on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We need to get me chipped asap
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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