White coat. Heels.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
