You work out of a Hotel?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i will never coherently bang her
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
