like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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