im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
