It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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