All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
