I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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