3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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