At least make sure they are 18
Why
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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