if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
