i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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