I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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