I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
