Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
you never un-have a 4some
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
