i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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