I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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