haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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