Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
