he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
