She just used a chaser for red wine.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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