i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize