Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
