You can't special order awesome
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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