Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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