I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
