He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
