I am puke
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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