Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
