lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Michael Bay diarrhea
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
