so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize