Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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