I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If I die, sorry about rent.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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