i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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