Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
