guys are only as good as the porn they watch
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
