JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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