checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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