Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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