I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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