i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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