New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
