I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
