Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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