I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
