billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
