hotel room ftw
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
