great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
high people should be assigned attendants
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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