in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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