PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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