Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
