I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
