We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My vagina just recognized that song.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
