in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
