yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize