i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
