Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
